they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
