She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
