I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize