The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
