dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
