Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
