My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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