the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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