I wish my penis had an off switch
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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