I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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