i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
