since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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