Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
