beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
