Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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