I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
