so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
