ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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