Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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