I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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