What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
