i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize