I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
