Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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