So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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