I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
