yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
