Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The feeling are messing with the penis
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
