tell your sister to shave her snatch
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
