fuck your aforementioned shoe
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
