I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
