you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
