I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
