He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
