Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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