we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
