3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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