Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
