Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
