Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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