A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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