So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i came on her dog
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
