Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
