So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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