So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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