They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
