Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
