I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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