I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
