now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ๐๐
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that sheโs hooked up with two of the same ones.
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