You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
