I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
