I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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