We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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