absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dicks are not precious.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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