32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
