Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's never too late to be topless.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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