wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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