i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
