haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
