this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
