He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
