So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
