That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just pee around me
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
