He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
