i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
