'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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