just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
